Our Foster Care to Adoption Journey Part 1

Fit to Foster

After years of struggling with infertility, waiting to adopt, grieving a miscarriage, and failed infertility treatments we were ready for the next season of our journey as we entered the world of the foster care system.

THIS IS A 3 PART BLOG SERIES OF Our Foster Care to Adoption Journey

If you missed My Infertility Story, you can read it here to catch up on our journey before continuing.

God had allowed me to endure years of infertility and when I finally handed the burden over to Him, I asked Him to use the pain for good. When I began learning to lean on my Heavenly Father and seeing that He alone fills the empty places in my heart, my perspective changed. I was no longer a victim of my circumstances, and I was able to comfort others with the comfort I had received (2 Corinthians 1:4). I began to see my infertility as an opportunity to fill the need of others. I had love in my heart and room in my home and there were children all over the world, even in my own community, that needed what I had. My infertility produced a greater purpose for my life.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” ~2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Miraculously, God was working on David’s heart as well, and our desires seemed to be in sync with one another. Once the decision was prayerfully made, David and I began the process to become licensed foster parents with our state. We participated in training classes for new foster parents, completed fire inspections, medical screenings, and background checks. We met with social workers and answered questions that were far too personal for a couple of introverts, and we over cleaned our house for the home study. After about six months of preparations, we were told by our licensing social worker that our paperwork had been submitted to the state for approval. So, the waiting began all over again. It wasn’t long before we were notified that we had been approved and we were officially a licensed foster home! We immediately went on the vacancy list to be called for potential foster child placements within our county.

Because of the current trends in the system and according to the agency, we expected a long wait to receive a placement— maybe even as much as six months. We expressed our interest in fostering newborns, but we were open to fostering children up to three years old and licensed to foster children as old as twelve years old. As first-time parents we wanted to begin with a young child to gain experience. We were repeatedly reassured that we would not get placed with a newborn, and that we would be waiting quite a while for a child within our requested age range. We were eager to welcome a child into our home, but comfortable waiting a little while if necessary. We thought we could use the time to finish preparing.

Quite unexpectedly and contrary to everything we were told, one week after we were licensed as foster parents, we received a call for our first foster care placement. It was about 9 am on a Friday morning in July of 2011 when I answered the phone call from our licensing social worker. She told me about a two-week-old newborn baby girl that needed a foster placement for the weekend and asked me if we would consider accepting her into our home. A quick (required) call to David and of course, we said “YES!”.

We began our day as a childless couple and by bedtime we were responsible for a newborn baby. Welcome to the foster care system!
“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” ~Psalm 37:4

Forever the First

We waited merely a week to receive the phone call for our first foster care placement-–a newborn baby girl! When we accepted the placement of the two-week-old baby into our home we were told that she would be staying solely for the weekend. She was placed with us on a Friday morning and the agency was certain that by Monday everything would be sorted out and that she would be moved again— probably back home. I spent the weekend snuggling that precious baby girl and wishing the weekend would never end. We shared her with our family and friends, experienced a taste of parenthood (particularly the sleepless nights), and loved her with all our hearts— even though she was only staying a few days. I knew I would be sad to see her go, but I also knew that it was exactly what we signed up for and I expected the short stay she would have with us. I wanted so desperately to give her what she needed— love and security after being disrupted from her normal. By Monday morning I received the anticipated call from our agency, but to my surprise they requested us to foster the baby girl one more week as they continued their investigation. I gladly agreed and continued to love on her as the week progressed, thankful for the extra time with her, but anticipating her to be moved back home by Friday.

David and I loved snuggling our first baby!

As we quickly learned about the unpredictable nature of foster care, our sweet baby girl didn’t leave our home that week as expected, but stayed with us for many months as her case plan was worked out, meetings were held on her behalf, and judges made decisions about her future. Eight months after she was placed in our home a permanency hearing was scheduled in court that determined that adoption was the best long-term option for her. We began to realize that she might not leave our home after all, as we agreed with the social workers to seriously consider adopting her.

From Foster to Adoption

Because adoption was already in our hearts, we didn’t take long to decide that we would give our baby girl a forever family. David and I grew excited about finally having a child to call our own and were overjoyed by the fact that our first foster care placement was ending in adoption. I was elated about finally becoming a mommy after all those years of waiting. Although I was a mother in every sense of the word, making it official and legal was definitely a turning point. I watched as God began to weave our family threads together in a beautiful way, but at the same time I saw a cord being pulled apart. In order for us to be a family, another family was being broken, and it was painful to watch. I had no control over the circumstances but felt compelled to have compassion. Ultimately, the painful undoing of a family created mine, but as I placed the results in God’s hands, I trusted Him in the midst of brokenness. The Lord is a redeeming God. He can take broken things and give them value. He makes beauty out of ashes and turns mourning to joy.

After twenty months in the foster care system, we adopted our beautiful daughter, Jeniah, into our family forever. She is my ray of sunshine, my first baby, and my blossom in the barren desert.

I am drenched with joy in the desert. Living blessed in barren places.
“He comforts all who mourn, and provides for those who grieve in Zion–He bestows on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” ~Isaiah 61:2b-3a NIV

Follow Our Foster Care to Adoption Journey to Part 2 HERE. →

Thanks for reading,